It's best when I stay home

I've been to three political conventions, none of them as a delegate.

I attended the first night of the 1980 Democratic Convention in New York as a college journalist, and I don't remember a thing about it. I didn't have to write anything until a month later, and by then I was concerned only with sounding cool for my audience.

I covered the 1996 Republican Convention in San Diego and the 2000 Democratic Convention in Los Angeles as a columnist. I wrote every day on subjects as varied as Operation Rescue and Caroline Kennedy. My most exciting moment was when Bob Dole yelled at me to get off his lawn.

As enjoyable as they may seem when something exciting happens, nominating conventions have a tendency to be very boring. If you watch on C-SPAN instead of one of the commercial networks, you're just as likely to hear a speech by the assistant to the associate secretary of commerce as you are to hear Ted Kennedy or Joe Biden.

And if you're actually on the floor, good luck at seeing all the interesting people in the seats who get pointed out.

Actually, it's better when I stay home. Democrats in 1980? Lost. Republicans in 1996? Down the drain. Democrats in 2000? Nope.

If they're smart, they won't let me in.