What if they weren't allowed to lie?

"Fairness Doctrine? We don't need no stinkin' Fairness Doctrine!"

Lots of folks these days are urging the reinstatement of the Fairness Doctrine, which disappeared during the Reagan years and resulted in the growth of talk radio. They think if balance were brought back, the Limbaughs and Hannitys, the O'Reillys and Savages, would just fade away.

I've got a better idea.

It's fair, too.

I've got no problem with Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity saying whatever they want, whenever they want. It's called freedom of speech, and it's important. But so much of what they say is so outrageously untrue, and there's no one on their shows to call them on it.

For example, Limbaugh always has enjoyed treating three different words as if they meant exactly the same thing -- liberalism, socialism and communism.

Of course they're not. Imagine how he would howl -- like a stuck pig, perhaps? -- if we treated the words conservative, authoritarian and Nazi as if they meant exactly the same thing.

Ditto with Hannity, who had Rep. Michelle Bachmann (I-Minn.) on his show this morning. (She's a Republican; the 'I' stands for insane, or for idiot, you choose). Bachmann told Hannity, and he lapped it up, that she wanted to lead an "orderly revolution" to keep President Obama and the Democrats from turning this into a "Marxist state."

Now of course there are some folks who feel that anything that detracts from laissez-faire capitalism is a big step toward communism, but realistically the worst that could be said about some of Obama's plans is that they are steps toward a European-style social democracy.

Foolks in Europe aren't oppressed. They just pay higher taxes and get more in return from their government than we do. They've bought into the belief that it's up to the state to take care of the poor, the infirm and the elderly.

But listen to Bachmann:

"This isn't a game. this isn't just a political talk show that's happening right now. This is our very freedom, and we have 230 years, a continuous link of freedom that every generation has ceded to the next generation. This may be the time when that link breaks. And I'm going to do everything I can, I know you are, to make sure that we keep that link secure. We cannot allow that link to break, because as Reagan said, America is the last great hope of mankind."

Now she's allowed to say that. She's also allowed to say, as she did during the campaign, that Barack Obama's friendships show that he hates America.

Even it it's completely untrue.

That's why I would like to see a Truth Doctrine. If somebody's on television, or on the radio, or speaking in public, they get hooked up to an electrical source. When they say something that's a blatant lie, like Limbaugh equating liberalism and communism or Bachmann saying Obama is a Marxist, they get a jolt.

With each further lie they tell, the jolt doubles.

They're got a choice, either to shut up or to tell the truth. I recognize that there are obvious obstacles to overcome. You can't put someone like me at the controls with Limbaugh. Whether he was telling the truth or not, I would enjoy seeing him jumping around and eventually crapping his pants way too much.

But put good, nonpartisan people in charge, and I guarantee you -- public discourse would improve tremendously. An awful lot of annoying liars would either start telling the truth or stop talking at all.

Both work for me.