All right, now.
Let's get one thing completely straight. I'm nobody's sex symbol.
A few years ago, on a different Website, there was a woman who was very critical of my writing. She called herself "Miri the Angel of Light," and she disagreed with almost everything I wrote.
I suggested that the lady was protesting a little too much, that it was obvious there was a sexual tension between us. At first she responded by calling me a "pig," as in male chauvinist porker. I stood my ground, though, and eventually Miri came around.
I think the same thing is happening now with the lovely and charming Sharee, who has been all over me in her posts. I suppose I could say the same thing about Jerzy, but I've never been that aware of feelings from the other side of the aisle.
I've got no gaydar.
Besides, Jerzy sounds a little old for that. I do have a friend from high school who's 60 and gay, but he had to actually tell me he was playing for the other team.
It's Sharee I'm concerned about.
You see, I'm taken. I've been married to the lovely and gracious Nicole for nearly 17 years, and quite frankly, I'm too faithful -- not to mention too old -- to look around. Besides, I was involved with a woman named Shari (spelled differently) more than 20 years ago and it didn't end well for either of us.
So Sharee, I'm happy to hear your comments on what I write. I love getting comments, even when they're mean and/or snarky. It's why I admired Alice Roosevelt Longworth so much. She's the one who said, "If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
But comments are all I want. You may be lovely, charming and for all I know, quite sexy, but I'm too old for that. As you can see from the picture, I used to be a good looking guy, but that picture is nearly 30 years old.
The excitement would probably kill me -- if my wife didn't kill me first.
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9 comments:
Ha-ha.
Your ego is running away with you.
Sharee
Yeah, yeah. I know, but Miri said the same thing, darlin'.
You're an insufferable brat, did you know that?
Arrogant, self-centered, and totally self-absorbed.
I've seen your photo.
My taste runs more to the tall, dark, and handsome.
You're bit too small, light, and gruesome.
Sorry, dear, I call them as I see them.
Tat-ta.
(Not TA-TAs, frat boy.)
Sharee
Sharee, Sharee, Sharee.
You think you're insulting me by calling me a frat boy?
I was a fraternity chapter president. Also rush chairman, but at a different time.
Not really small or light, and gruesome is a matter of preference.
But darlin', I'm sure you've heard the old expression about the lady doth protest too much.
It's classic.
I don't know how this keeps happening, but it does.
Go bl** yourself.
Sharee
Gosh, Sharee, that was such a great line when Jennifer Grey said it to Charlie Sheen late in "Ferris Bueller."
But do you remember what they were doing five minutes later?
Uh huh.
By the way, you don't need to block out letters. Everybody knows that you didn't mean "Go blog yourself," "Go blob yourself" or "Go blap yourself."
I think you are one of those guys who likes being abused.
Really, I have no "interest" in you, but you keep on pushing.
It ain't going to happen.
Take a long look in the mirror.
You are NOT my type.
Even Charlie Sheen is getting too old.
You're a grandpa.
Sharee
Glad to hear it. Remember, you were the one who started this.
I think Mike is quite nice. Frankly, this is HIS blog and Sharee, you keep coming back here so perhaps Mike is correct when he says that the lady protests to much.
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