Questions that just will not go away

"Omne animal post coitum triste."
-- attributed to ARISTOTLE

I was having a conversation with an old friend the other day and I was surprised to learn that he had never heard this phrase.

If it had been anyone but him, it wouldn't have bothered me. There aren't many people these days who quote Aristotle in Latin, but my friend is extremely well-read and he and I have had many conversations about sex over the years.

He told me that when he was younger, he often had melancholy feelings after sex, wondering if that was all there was. I threw the quote at him, a quote that translates as "all animals are sad after sex," and it made sense to him in the same way that letdowns after big accomplishments made sense.

My friend and I were raised in the '50s and came of age during the '60s and '70s, the very peak of the sexual revolution. He was better looking and more confident around women than I was, so he was far more of a player than I was.

In fact, a number of the women I dated made a point of telling me how good-looking my friend was, which did wonders for my confidence. And on those occasions when I was successful, I was a lot more like Billy Crystal in "When Harry Met Sally" than I was like any Don Juan.

It was always more about love for me, which was one of the main things that caused the downfall of my first marriage. When one person sees it as more of a recreational pursuit and the other doesn't, that's ultimately difficult.

Ironically, my friend who was a player in the early '70s got married in 1979 and has been married -- and faithful -- to the same woman ever since.

Me, I continue to wrestle with the same questions I did as a kid, questions that should have been settled in my mind decades ago. I wonder if I'll ever know the answers.