Monday, September 7, 2009

A little wisdom from the South


I wanted to find out if folks really were as stirred up about Barack Obama as some are saying, so I went to my best source.

I called my friend Cooter Jackson. Cooter lives in a little town about 20 miles from Durham, N.C. He spent 30 years as a columnist for the Grits Advertiser ("All the news that fits, we print"), although he had to retire when he lost his sight in a fishing accident.

Some of you may notice that Cooter has a small resemblance to my friend Mick, who teaches at two community colleges in Southern California.

But it's obvious from the picture that the two men aren't the same. Cooter's hair is shorter, and you can tell from the dark glasses and the vacant stare that he's blind.


In fact, if you look at this picture of Mick teaching, his hair is longer and darker, and he clearly has his eyesight.

Now that we've settled that, it's actually sort of ironic. Cooter says being blind has actually helped him in a couple of ways.

"I was always purty good with the ladies," he said. "But now that I can't see, they're even more eager to come over. They say they don't have to put no makeup on and that's a pure pleasure."

So I called to ask him about Obama.

"Well, he surprised me some when he carried North Carolina last year," he said. "Part of it was McCain runnin' a bad campaign and part of it was folks bein' real fed up with ol' Dubya. Obama caught 'em at the right time, and there really ain't as much racism around here as there used to be."

And now, I asked.

"He wouldn't carry the state today," Cooter said. "Part of it is people thinkin' a president should be a miracle worker and he shoulda solved all the problems by now, and part of it is that he's probably a little more liberal than folks realized."

I asked him what he thought.

"Hell," Cooter said. "He's no more liberal than LBJ was, but Lyndon was a white Southerner, and back then conservatives hadn't turned 'liberal' into a dirty word. I think his biggest mistake is he left it to Congress to do health care instead of proposin' his own plan."

What about all the spending? The huge deficits?

"Bush ran the biggest deficits in history," he said. "He's the only president ever who cut taxes and went to war at the same time. Nobody was fussin' about it then. It's all about the propaganda, and Obama's losin' that battle to idiots like that Fat Boy on the radio and what's his name, Glenn Beck."

I knew Cooter had spent time with both Rush Limbaugh and Beck and he ddin't have much use for either of them. Rush had gone with him on one of Cooter's famous fishing trips.

"Worst one ever," Cooter said. "He just wouldn't stop talkin'. Scared all the fish away. And he kept smokin' those big ol' cigars."

Even so, he said he liked Rush a lot better than Beck.

"I met him at a party in Chapel Hill," Cooter said. "He has kind of a crazy look in his eyes, and I swear I never shook hands with anybody whose hands were softer and damper."

I asked him if he had any advice to pass along to Obama.

"He needs to get mad," Cooter said. "He needs to show some emotion, instead of just bein' so cool and collected about it all. Start runnin' people out there whose lives have been destroyed by insurance companies turnin' 'em down. Start askin' the folks on the other side what they'd do about that. He can still win this thing. He just needs to show he cares."

allvoices

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you serious?

I looked at those photos -- and this Cooter fellow looks just like your friend, Mick.

I think this is a joke.

I think your friend Mick has bamboozled you.

RANDY

Mike Rappaport said...

I think they're cousins, but look closely. Those two are not the same person.

Anonymous said...

I copied and blew up both photos.

Mike, either your joking or one of the two people supposed to be TWO people is joking.

Have you ever see the two of them together?

How well do you know them?

Anyway, "Cooter" is bizarre.

I don't think he's blind at all.

George

Mike Rappaport said...

I know both of them, but I have never seen the two of them together.

Anonymous said...

I have looked very, very carefully at both pictures.

They've got to be the same person.

Besides, Cooter can't be a real person.

Who names their child "Cooter"?

This is a joke, right?

Rush Limbaugh fishing?

Sorry.

You're just putting words into your liberal friend's mouth.

He's saying those things about Obama and you want your southern readers to to take it in and get onboard the Obama Express,

Well, tell Mick "no thanks."

He can keep his commie liberal agenda to himself.

That no-count dawg won't hunt no how.

Ray

Mike Rappaport said...

Ray, I think you're overdoing the Southern talk. I grew up in Virginia and lived in both Carolinas as an adult.

"That dog won't hunt" is all you need to say.

Cooter's no liberal, and neither is his cousin Mick. Cooter didn't even vote for Obama, as I recall.

Anonymous said...

My friend works for Cal tech and he looked at both photos, and he says there's only a five percent chance that they aren't of the same person.

What gives?

I think your friend Mick has created an alter ego and fooled you.

The length that liberals will go to get their friends to follow their misguided instincts.

Bill M.

Mike Rappaport said...

Didn't you ever see the "Patty Duke" show? They were identical cousins.

Anonymous said...

Mike, you're either a crafty old fox who likes to pull the string on people, or you've been had.

Those photos show the same person.

Your friend Cooter Jackson is Mick Curran, or vice versa.

And if you don't know that, then you've been had.

Your friend Mick is promulgating his left wing politics by making you believe that he's his "cousin" and that Cooter Jackson is far more open-minded about President Obama than what most southerners would be.

Nice try, but my kids watched the old Patty Duke show -- and guess what, both of those girls was just one actress, Patty Duke.

Either you're sly or you're gullible. It can't be both.

Ernie

Anonymous said...

This is my first blog ever.

I just had to speak up.

I don't think they're the same person.

Remember David Doyle from "Charlie's Angels" and Tom Bosley from "happy days"?

They looked so much alike, I couldn't tell them apart.

I think Cooter ad Mick might be one of those cases.

Lilly

Mike Rappaport said...

Mick is definitely not left-wing.

As for Cooter, I know a lot of people who would like to see changes in health care who aren't left-wing either.