What if we all behaved well?

Sixteen months ago, I lost my job.

It was my fault. I was working for someone who didn't like me, and I should have realized he would jump at an opportunity to get rid of me. I was essentially set up to be fired, and I fell into the trap.

I didn't fight it, and I'm pretty sure that was his biggest disappointment. He got the thrill of getting rid of me, and he milked it for all it was worth, but I stood up for myself without groveling.

In the end, I told him I understood and that I forgave him.

I've been thinking about that a lot in the 16 months since. He obviously didn't react well to it; he showed his anger in at least one action I've mentioned before, and I'm pretty sure he has been spreading false allegations about me as well.

It would be nice to say I didn't give a rat's ass, and I certainly have been fortunate that my wife has a good job and that unemployment insurance has been very generous. But I was a damn good journalist for 29 years, and it wasn't pleasant to have my career end the way it did.

What was exceedingly weird about the whole situation, though, was how much pleasure my former employer seemed to get from it all. Several of the things he said really had nothing to do with the situation, and seemed to be there only for the purpose of making me feel bad.

It left me wondering why some people really do seem to think that putting other people down somehow lifts them up. I used to be like that, when I was much younger and much less happy with myself. Now all I have are regrets when I think of some of the things I said or did back then.

When you meet someone, do you expect them to behave well or are you on guard for bad behavior? Do you automatically figure that people are honest or that you had better hold onto your wallet or you'll lose it?

Are you outgoing ... or guarded?

A puppy that has never been around people will be friendly and curious, but one that has been hit or kicked even once will never be totally open toward humans again.

I think it's probably the same way with children, although parents can certainly instill fear in their young ones just by repeating it over and over again. "Don't talk to strangers." "Don't get into strange cars."

You know the drill.

We have too many Bernie Madoffs and too few Mohandas Gandhis, too many people who will betray your trust and too few who will honor it.

Changing the world is a difficult thing. Any effect any one of us has is probably comparable to a stream running through mountains -- nothing visible, but in a million years there's a deep cut and a big river.

When I forgave my former employer, it was more for me than it was for him. I knew that if I were angry and bitter, it would hurt me a lot more than it did him.

As it is, I'm OK. I've probably had dozens of nightmares about what happened in the months since, but at least I can tell myself I behaved honorably.

In the end, that's all we can do.

Behave honorably and hope the light from our example can affect even one other person.