Greater love hath no man ...

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).”

When I was younger, I was in at least two different relationships -- one sanctified by marriage -- in which the object of my affections told me that if I ever left her, she would die.

Neither woman was particularly of the genus dramus queenus, but in the end both of them decided that life without me was better than life with me. As far as I know, both women are still alive many years later.

So when it came to questioning whether anyone really needed me, I was at the least a little skeptical. One woman I was involved with did die a few years after knowing me, but it was a swimming accident and I was thousands of miles away at the time.

Recently, the question came up in my mind. My beloved wife, who has numerous psychic scars from a childhood marked by neglect and a first marriage marked by abuse, has been going through a difficult time. One of the most important touchstones in her life is our love for each other, and I said something in hope of reassuring her.

"I would do anything for you," I said. "I would die for you if it were necessary."

It's easy to say. I've led a relatively selfish life, too many times that it was all about what I wanted and too many times I have come up short.

But I realized something and I mean it with all my heart. If the choice comes, particularly after a fairly long life, it's better to die for someone else than to live for yourself. And if I had the chance to save my wife ... or my children ... or my grandchild ... and didn't take it, I'm not sure I could live with myself.

My wife is a wonderful, loving person who is almost too fragile to live in this world, and I love her with all my heart. My children -- Pauline and Virgile -- are mine in every way except blood, and they are both going to have amazing lives. And my 4-week-old granddaughter, little Madison Nicole, just might live to see the 22nd century.

I'm not afraid to die. I believe Jesus redeemed me with his sacrifice and that my faith in him will save me.

But when I do die, I would like it to be for something.

I hope that isn't too much to ask.